WHEN LIFE CAN’T GET ANY BETTER

We went to the IU Football Coach’s radio show last night. They have good burgers at the Holiday Inn, where the show originates. But last night we hit the trifecta—a baby, a dog, and a cake.

Don Fischer, “the voice of the Hoosiers,” is the host of the show, so naturally he was there. So was head coach Tom Allen, and wide receivers Donovan Hale and Whop [so named because he loved Whoppers at Burger King from the time he was a little boy] Philyor.

The star of the show at our table, though, was four-month-old Jones Wommack, who brought his mother, Melissa, the wife of IU’s defensive coordinator, Kane Wommack. Definitely a linebacker in the making. He wanted me to hold him, so I did. Suddenly, I realized, “I’m an old man with balance problems. I have no business holding a baby who thinks he’s an acrobat.” But I managed to fake competency for longer than I should.

Melissa and Kane were trying to pick out a name for their third son, and they had just come to Bloomington to be on the IU football coaching staff, and they were watching the “Indiana Jones” movie, so they said, “Let’s name him…” No, not Indiana. Coaches get fired too often for that. Can you imagine a kid named Indiana with a father coaching at Purdue? No, they named him Jones, Melissa said, because in the Bible it means “God is gracious.”

That surprised me. I thought MY name means “God is gracious.” So I interneted it. Turns out that Jones is a variant of the name John, so little Jones and I share a biblical name. That’s really cool.

Then a woman came in with a little white dog. More cuteness.

Then Ellie Mallory, the widow of Bill, the winningest coach in IU football history, treated us all to cake for her birthday.

As we left, Helen said, “A baby, a dog, and a cake. It doesn’t get better than that.” “Yep, “I said, “the holy trinity.” Actually, I said, “The trifecta,” but in the bible that means trinity. Maybe. Look it up.

John Robert McFarland

“…and the three men I admire most, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, they caught the last train for the coast, the day the music died.”

“American Pie,” Don McLean.