THE GREAT ASSUMER [W, 11-13-24]

BEYOND WINTER: The Irrelevant Lyrics of An Old Man—THE GREAT ASSUMER [W, 11-13-24]

 

I have been asked several times recently how people can go on these days, in the midst of great disappointments, with little hope. Well, do what I do, and assume that everything will be okay. Just be an assumer…

Remember The Great Pretender song? Buck Ram wrote it as a classic lost love song; he pretends he’s okay, even though she has left him. The Platters had a big hit with it in November of 1955.

Being a hopeless romantic myself, it spoke to me. As it hit the airwaves, I was in my first semester at IU. I had just had a disastrous experience with my first college girlfriend, and also with first semester mid-terms. I realized that I was pretending to be a college guy, able to win the affection of girls and the plaudits of professors, when I didn’t know how.

My biggest problem, though, was not pretending. It was assuming. I assumed I knew more than I really did. Assuming has dogged me my whole life, so this is my theme song…

[You can hear The Platters sing The Great Pretender on You Tube to get the melody.]

THE GREAT ASSUMER

Oh, yes, I’m the great assumer

Assuming I know what to do

Directions I eschew

I already know what to do

At least, I assume that is true

Assuming I know what to do

 

Oh, yes I’m the great assumer

I’m sure that I know where it is

I drive up and down

All ‘round the town

Enclosed in a great cloud of bliss

Even though I don’t know where it is

 

I look for your face

But it’s not in this place

 

Oh, yes, I’m the great assumer

I’m sure the parts are all there

I forge on ahead

Instructions I can’t bear

So where does this last thing go

I really have no way to know

 

Oh, yes, I’m the great assumer

Baby, a hard rain won’t fall

Although prognosticated

It is now belated

Surely it won’t be coming

Oh, I’d better start running

 

To the church I drive

But it’s no longer alive…

 

Oh, yes, I’m the great assumer

Dreaming of heaven above

I know I’ll go there

Eternal bliss I shall share

Until they see my sins on a scroll

Then they’ll tell me where else I can go

 

John Robert McFarland