FLATTENED [R, 2-6-25]

BEYOND WINTER: The Irrelevant Memories of An Old Man—FLATTENED [R, 2-6-25]

 

It was a lunch hour pickup football game. I was assigned to block Tommy Houchins. He was a 200 lb senior. I was a 100 pound 8^th grader. He growled, “If you get in my way, I’ll flatten you.” I think it was the only time he ever talked to me.

No, the seniors didn’t haze the 8^th graders, or mistreat us in general. They basically ignored us, except to refer to us as “those little 8^th graders.” It was an apt description. Most of us were little still, thirteen years old, barely into puberty, just beginning high school growth.

For some reason, in Oakland City, high school started with 8^th grade. Lunch-time pickup games included anyone who wanted in, even little 8^th graders. But we didn’t get to touch the ball, like throw it or catch it. We were assigned to the line…across from people like Tommy Houchins.

Folks usually don’t believe me when I say that high school was an idyllic time. Oh, sure, there were the usual academic woes concerning algebra, and the romantic tragedies of real or imagined rejection, but kids really were nice to one another. This was the 1950s. Niceness was expected, and rewarded. Yes, we made fun of one another. If a boy wore those green or gray work pants to school instead of blue jeans, we’d say, “You going to a funeral?” Miss Grace Robb frowned even on that, and we liked Miss Robb and wanted to please her, so we tried to keep out of her hearing when we made rude remarks.

Which brings me back to the offensive line, and Tommy Houchins. I was caught between a rusher and a quarterback. I didn’t want to let my team down, by letting Tommy through, but I didn’t want to get flattened, either. So, I tried to make it look to my teammates, especially my quarterback, that I was trying to block Tommy, while not actually getting in his way. It didn’t work. Tommy flattened me, and my teammates were disgusted with me, especially the QB, since Tommy flattened him, too.

You would think that the point here is that I learned my lesson and no longer tried to appease both sides of opposing forces. Not so at all! I continued that through my whole life, even though I learned then, and over and over, that there is no way you can please everybody.

But I take satisfaction from knowing that each time I got flattened, even though I was trying to avoid flattening, and each time my teammates got disgusted with me, even though I was trying to avoid their odium, it meant that I had lined up in the right place, on the right side.

John Robert McFarland