WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT FAITH IN 70 YEARS OF PREACHING [M, 9-21-26]

CHRIST IN WINTER: The Irrelevant Reminiscences of An Old Preacher—WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT FAITH IN 70 YEARS OF PREACHING [M, 9-21-26]

 

Our friend, Suzanne, told this story in a public setting with about a hundred people present, so I’m not revealing anything private. When she was a young woman, early twenties, she was raped. Suzanne is a small woman, maybe five-three, and the man who raped her was huge, 6 foot 7, 300 lbs. He raped her over and over, and he kept telling her that when he was done with her, he would kill her. She believed him. She knew he would kill her. And he surely would have, but someone intervened before he could do it. She said throughout the ordeal that she prayed, and she kept saying to God, “Just don’t leave me alone. I can take the pain. I can take the humiliation. I can take the aloneness, as long as you don’t leave me alone. I can take death, as long as you don’t leave me.”

Here’s the bottom line: the one necessary thing for life is God’s presence. Crucifixion, resurrection, salvation, eternal life… those are all fine. But without the everlasting arms, without the Presence of God as the foundation, they are nothing.

[Okay, I just realized I have already used this in the column a couple of days ago. Sometimes my cutting and pasting gets out of hand. Well, it’s too late for me to learn something else, so either you can read it again or just relax into the everlasting arms.]

I’ve been a Christian for almost 90 years. By Christian theology, I became a Christian when I was baptized right at 90 years ago. I have a cradle roll certificate to prove it. And I have been thinking about God for almost all those 90 years. I have a doctorate in theology of Christian belief. And I’m confused about Christianity most of the time.

I mean, Jesus died for my sins. Or was that Christ? Anyway, if I’m saved from my sins, how come I keep sinning? Why do I pray every week for forgiveness? How does the death of one peasant two thousand years ago make things different for me now? And resurrection? Heaven hereafter? Hell? And where does the Holy Spirit come in? And if the Bible is the Word of God, how comes it says so many contradictory things? There is no end to the doubts about faith.

When I get overwhelmed by too much theology, I just turn it over to God. I remember that phrase from Deuteronomy: Underneath are the everlasting arms. I stop trying to understand, and I relax into those everlasting arms of God. 

John Robert McFarland