Iron Mountain ski jump

Iron Mountain ski jump

Saturday, July 29, 2017

TALKER’S REMORSE 7-29-17



I end up with “talker’s remorse” every time I open my mouth. I’m not sure it is a recognized psychological phenomenon, the way “buyer’s remorse” is, but if not, it should be.

Don’t get me wrong. There are many times I could say something and I don’t. Then I get “closed mouth remorse,” because I don’t get any credit for keeping my mouth shut, since nobody knows I might have said something but did not.

It’s a forked tongue problem. If I say something, I regret it. If I don’t say anything, I regret it.

Most people get talker’s remorse only if they say something stupid. Of course, there are others who say stupid stuff all the time and never regret it either because they don’t know that what they say is stupid, or they don’t care how others see them. I’m the only person I know who gets talker’s remorse every time, whether what I have said is stupid or not. Even if what I said was okay, I’m sure there was a better way to say it, so I shouldn’t have said what I did.

So I avoid people as much as possible. If I never have contact with people, I can’t say anything. I don’t even talk to myself. If I do, I criticize what I said. I don’t like that. Or else I do. The whole subject of talker’s remorse when you’re talking to yourself is very confusing.

Some people think I’m the wise strong silent type. I figure the best way to make them keep thinking that is to keep my mouth shut. So don’t ask me anything, or I’ll regret answering you.

JRMcF
johnrobertmcfarland@gmail.com

I tweet as yooper1721.

Following the critical and marketing success of her first Young Adult novel, daughter Katie Kennedy’s Learning to Swear in America, is What Goes Up, a July 18, 2017 release. She is published by Bloomsbury, which also publishes lesser known but promising young authors, like JK Rowling.

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