Getting ready for church
this morning brings up the old age dilemma: Am I the one who should give the
help or am I the one who needs the help.
I try to be helpful in
church by staying out of the way of our pastors. I’m the kind of old person I
always loved when I was a preacher: I come to worship, give a lot [relatively]
of money, keep my mouth shut about the pastor’s many deficiencies, am friendly
to newcomers and invite others to come. I occasionally do something to help out
with the church’s work, especially if it can be done in secret, like sneaking
into the church building without being noticed and loading up the food from Backpack
Buddies Sunday and taking it to the Community Kitchen.
My old friend, Father Joe
Dooley, always recited the priestly litany for Catholics: pray, pay, and obey.
That describes me now that I am a “regular” church member. The perfect church
member.
Well, not completely
perfect. When I was a pastor, I also wanted old people, if they still had a
modicum of energy in brain and body, to work on committees. That is probably
the unforgivable sin. That’s where my perfection ends. You can’t be invisible
if you are on a committee. You can’t be saved, either.
The problem for old people
is this: as we get more decrepit, we really need more attention. We need to be
willing to accept it, even ask for it when necessary. But that gets in the way,
calls attention to us, makes people do stuff for us. That doesn’t feel right.
I used to park as far away
from the door as I could, in any parking lot, in order to leave closer spots
for folks who could not walk as well as I. Now when Helen is having one of her
leg-problem days or I’m especially tipsy [just speaking gyroscopically, not alcoholically],
I park as close to the door as I can get. It feels wrong, but it’s necessary.
It’s embarrassing to take a good spot when you look as young as I do, so I intentionally
stagger around when I get out of the car, even though I don’t need to, so that people
will know I really need to park close. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
JRMcF
johnrobertmcfarland@gmail.com
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