Reflections on Faith &
Life for the Years of Winter…
Let’s have applause for…not
doing it. Whatever “it” might be.
One of our pastors, Mary
Beth Morgan, has been warning us—claiming it is voluntary, but we know what
that means—that SSPES [“Sit Some Place Else Sunday”] is coming up. Palm Sunday,
no less, which is chaotic enough as it is, what will all that palm waving and
parading around.
She stated that “some
place else” did not mean an entire section could just pick up and stake out a
different spot, like a tribe of Israel in the desert. She specifically pointed
out the likelihood of The Alfred Hitchcock Society--so named because we sit in
the North by Northwest [NNW] part of the sanctuary--being likely culprits to
move en masse. Needless to say, Helen
and I sit in that area. We may even have had a hand in naming it.
The problem is that NNW
has a lot of old people and other misfits. I was pretty sure that once
scattered, they would not be able to find their way back home on subsequent
Sundays. So I hatched a plan. Yes, we NNW folks would scatter, but on the
Sunday before SSPES, I would hand out to all the citizens of NNW home-made but
nicely done maps pointing the way back to NNW come Easter, with various instructions
in case obstacles were encountered on the way, etc. Sort of a biblical journey--how to part the waters to get through, where to find manna, etc.
Then I got to thinking
about it… which is always a problem with my plans. I knew Mark and Michael
would have fun with it, just because they are like that. Doran and Mary Ellen
would be indulgent, saying, “Oh, you young whippersnappers.” Bill and Pat would
think it's a hoot. Janice and the Shirleys [a great name for a girl singing
trio] would be a bit befuddled but okay with it. Byron would be polite. So would Janis, and
Randy would laugh heartily. Martha would be late, but that would be no problem,
because Carle would swing into head-usher mode and be sure everyone got a map.
And therein lay the problem…
At St. Mark’s, NNW is
back-left, easily accessed by latecomers and newcomers. Being handed a map for
future excursions when you have no idea what is happening even in the present
would be enough for some folks to leave immediately to worship at St. Arbucks,
just down the hill.
So I didn’t do it. One of
my best ideas, and I would get no applause, no accolades, no affirmation,
because no one ever knows when we do NOT do something.
Oh, yeah, it’s great to
get big hand for doing something, but most of my best stuff is in the category
of “It’s good because I did NOT do it.” Nobody ever applauds because we did NOT
do something stupid, because they don’t know about it. It’s quite frustrating
to get criticism for stupid stuff you do while getting no accolades for stupid
stuff you DON’T do.
So give yourself a hand.
You’re the only one who knows how much you deserve it.
JRMcF
johnrobertmcfarland@gmail.com
Being an advance planner,
Helen was looking forward to sitting with a favorite friend on the east side
until I pointed out to her that he would have to sit some place else on SSPES,
too.
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