CHRIST IN WINTER:
Reflections on Faith and Life for the Years of Winter…
We had supper with Paul
and Judith Unger on our way to the memorial service for Wally Mead. It was Paul
who shocked me a couple of years ago when he said, “Community doesn’t last.”
I have always thought
about community in transcendent terms, “the great cloud of witnesses,” “for all
the saints.” So the idea of community “not lasting” bothered me. That spiritual
community does last, but it is a spiritual, not a physical community. Paul is
right, though, about physical community, community in this world. It does not
last.
Wally Mead is proof of
that. He was the last of the great coterie of young professors with their new
PhDs who came to Illinois State Teachers College in the 1960s to turn it into
Illinois State University. At the same time, a line of bright you new seminary
graduates came to pastor in Normal. The ILSU teachers and the Normal preachers
were a community of ideas and challenge and progress. Wally was the last one
left of that once-full community. His memorial service closed the circle. It
was a wonderful community, but like all human communities, it could not last.
It is not just community
that does not last. Also fast disappears the habitats where those communities
dwelt. Gone entirely are the hospital where I was born; the farm where I grew
up, house and all the buildings strip-mined; almost all the commercial
buildings on both sides of the two blocks of Main Street in my home town; my
university dorm; the parsonage where we lived when first married; five of the
church buildings where I preached… if I had to show you a trail of my habitats
to prove my identity, you would have to conclude that I do not exist.
Yet, here I am. It will be
but a few years before I “age out,” and then, like all community and habitat, I’ll
be gone. That is the way of the world. But—and here I am going to say something
you may not have ever heard before: I am glad I got to be a human being in this
transient world, that humans were my community.
All life is born, and
lives, and then dies. Red geraniums and dandelions and army ants and baboons
and algae and evergreens and swans and Presbyterians are all the same, in that
way of transiency. We are also all the same in not knowing why this world
exists at all, or why we are all destined to die. But even with all the
problems and stupidities and pains to which humans are prone, I think being a
human is a good thing. I’m sure that being a sea horse or a dragonfly or a
Shetland pony is a good thing, too, but—all in all—I’d rather be a human.
When we come to the end,
we either ignore death, or we rage against it, or try to avoid it, or we resign
ourselves to it… or we accept it. Acceptance of death, acceptance of the
mystery, is best, and that is something humans can do better, if we’re willing,
than toads and sassafras can. Or even owls.
JRMcF
“All we ask [in old age]
is to be allowed to remain the authors of our own story.” Atul Gawande, Being Mortal, p. 140.
I stopped writing this
column for a while, for several reasons. It wasn’t until I had quit, though,
that I knew this reason: I did not want to be responsible for wasting your
time. If I write for others, I have to think about whether it’s worthwhile for
you to read. If I write only for myself, it’s caveat emptor. If you choose to read something I have written, but
I have not advertised it, not asked you to read it, and it’s poorly constructed
navel-gazing drivel, well, it’s your own fault. Still, I apologize if you have
to ask yourself, “Why did I waste time reading this?”
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