BEYOND WINTER: The Irrelevant Musings of An Old Man—FRAGILE IN THE TRANSITIONS [T, 11-5-24]
I started to get up off the sofa and thought, “This would be a good time to go do something stupid.”
My ability range for doing stupid stuff is rather narrow anymore. It’s mostly, “This would be a good time to go eat something bad for me.” When I was younger, though, I had a wide range of stupidity possibilities. “This would be a good time to tell the bishop what’s wrong with him,” followed by “This would be a good time to apply for a PhD program…” Once you start stupid stuff, it gains momentum.
I hardly ever considered the stupidity possibilities, though, except when I was in transition, from one place to another, from one activity to another, from one…
Helen had a yoga instructor who said, “We are fragile in the transitions.” She meant when moving from one yoga position to another, of course, but I find that it is true emotionally and spiritually, too. My brain and body are always ready to do stupid stuff, but the urge to stupidity is greatest in the transitions.
I don’t understand that. I can be perfectly happy, staid in place, writing a mundane poem or an irrelevant column, with no hint of stupidity rising, but then…yes, it’s usually my bladder that requires me to get up, and I think, “Well, as long as I’m up anyway, what stupid thing can I do?”
It’s never, “Well, as long as I’m up, I could take out the garbage.” No, it’s “As long as I’m up, I could go look at new cars and surprise Helen with a Morris Minor or 2025 Bel Air that looks like the 1956 model.” [1]
I think that we have learned from Trump’s Jan. 6 riot at the Capitol that even as a nation, we are fragile in the transitions. As long as I’m up here, what stupid thing can I do?
Actually, for me, at least, I think it comes from trying to follow Jesus. Have you ever noticed that it was in the transitions that the disciples did stupid stuff? They would be doing fine, taking the roof off somebody’s house so they could lower a sick person down to Jesus to heal them, but when they got out on the road, that’s when the stupidity came out. “Hey, Jesus, can I get a special place in your Kingdom, even though I’m no more deserving than anybody else?” Then, of course, “You don’t deserve a special place; you’re stupid.” “No, you are!” That’s the surest way not to get what you want.
Well, I guess the point is: Be careful in the transitions. What I do in the transitions, when that stupidity urge comes, I think about going out to the road beside our house, where Jesus is passing by, and I get in behind. The way is straight and narrow, so there are no transitions.
John Robert McFarland
1] Blame this on old
friend, Jim Bortell.
After I retired the first time, I work at Trinity United Methodist doing counseling for families in the coming out process of one of their children. The idea being that it is at that time in a family that things change in regard to the relationship between the gay/lesbian child and the parents. It is a transition time for sure. It is then that the son, daughter, mother and/or father can do something stupid...like leave and never come back on the part of the child or disown the young son or daughter. If you can hold the line and gain some time, more rational and constructive ways of dealing with the issue can be discovered and used. Sometimes, the best thing was to not do anything. As the Beatles sang, "Let it be!" A general rule I discovered while working with "Safe Parents" (The name of the program at Trinity) was that the people who stuck with some sort of learning process for about three years, completely turned around, to become pro-gay volunteers in PFLAG. Sometimes it is okay to just stay on the couch.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bob. This is helpful. I especially appreciate your permission to stay on the couch.
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