OUT OF PLACE ANGEL [R, 12-11-25]

 

THE OUT OF PLACE ANGEL--A.D.

John Robert McFarland

[Mentioning my story about the out of place angel in the column for 12-8-25, reminded me that I have a copy of it that I could share. It’s 2000 words instead of my usual 500, but, if you have the time, it’s a fun story.]

            "Miranda, for heaven's sake, get up here in the front row where you belong."

            Gabriel, the Archangel, and Director of Special Music for The Heavenly Host, heaven's special choir, tried to sound gruff.  It's not easy to sound gruff if your voice is heavenly, however, and Gabriel had a most heavenly voice.  He also had a special affection for Miranda, the little front row angel, and he almost always ended up laughing whenever he looked at her. 

            Miranda was always out of place, and everything about Miranda was out of place.  Her wings were usually on upside down.  Her angel-hair gown was inside out.  She either wore her halo as a bracelet or used it as a hula hoop.  Her halo always fell off when she put it on her head, because Miranda flew around so fast it couldn't keep up.

            "But, Gabriel, we like to have Miranda back here with us," sang a thousand heavenly bass voices from the back row.

            "I know, I know," sighed Gabriel, "but Christmas is coming, and we must be ready.  Miranda will have to be in the front row or she won't be able to see me wave my wings to direct the heavenly host, and she'll get the words out of place.  Besides, I want her where the shepherds can see her.  I don't think they'll be afraid if they see a little angel like Miranda singing to them.

            Reluctantly the basses handed Miranda down to the tenors, who handed her to the altos, who handed her to the sopranos, who handed her to Gabriel.  Miranda grinned all the way. Gabriel placed her in the front row, a row of one, just for her, right in front of where he was directing the heavenly host.

            "Now," he said, "I can keep my eye on you."

            "What's a Christmas?" asked Miranda, angelically. 

            "Not 'a' Christmas, Miranda," corrected Gabriel.  "This is 'the' Christmas, the first one.  God is going to send Jesus to earth, to be born there as a little baby, to live with the earth people and the earth animals and the earth itself and to teach them how to live well.  We have to announce it on earth when it happens."

            "All right, Host," he continued, "let's see if we can get it really loud this time."

            Gabriel turned to face an imaginary audience and joyously proclaimed his solo part:  "Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger."

            And suddenly there behind Gabriel was The Heavenly Host, including Miranda, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among people with whom God is pleased."

            Miranda shivered with excitement.  It was going to be the greatest thing that ever happened on earth, and she would be a part of it!  She silently mouthed the words along with Gabriel on his part; they had practiced so much that she knew them by heart.

            She could hardly wait, but Christmas was not quite ready yet.  There were many other preparations to be made.  Also, the choir could not just practice all the time.  The regular routine of heaven had to go on.  There was harping and listening to the prayers from around the universe and silently encouraging the creatures on all the planets to do good.  Of course, Miranda had her own special pursuits, such as playing horseshoes with her halo.

            Wouldn't you know it?  One day Miranda was rolling her halo down one of the streets of gold and it hit a bump and just sailed away.  She went running after it, but it was rolling so fast it seemed like it was aeons before she caught up with it.  (An "aeon" is a very, very long time, almost as long as an eternity.)  Then she was so tired when she finally got it that instead of flying back on her own, she waited for a cloud that was going her way.  When she got back, heaven seemed very quiet. Only the seraphim were around.  A seraph is one of the very most important of all the angels, so important that it has three pair of wings.  All of the seraphim were always happy to chat with Miranda, though.

            "Where is everybody?" she asked one of the seraphim.  "Why is it so quiet?"

            "Why, it's Christmas time," said the seraph.  "Gabriel and The Heavenly Host have gone to earth to announce the birth of Jesus as one of the earth people.  Say, Miranda, I thought you were in The Heavenly Host."

            Poor Miranda!  Out of place again!  She was supposed to be in the front row of the choir that was announcing the birth of Jesus, and here she was, stuck in heaven.  She peeked over the edge of a cloud.  It was getting dark down on earth, and she thought she could just make out the glow of The Heavenly Host as it started for its one night stand in the world.

            Then, an idea came to her!  She could go fast, so fast even her halo could not keep up with her.  Why, she would just fly down to earth and get there before they started singing and be part of The Heavenly Host yet!  She grabbed her halo and jumped off the cloud and started flying to earth as fast as her little wings would carry her.  As she flew, she sang her part over, so she would be ready.

            Then, she remembered that she hadn't listened very carefully when Gabriel told the choir about where they would be going.  What was the name of the town?  B...  It began with a 'B,' she was pretty sure of that.  Well, she knew they were supposed to make the announcement to shepherds.  She would just find the town that had the name that began with 'B,' and she would look for shepherds, and that was where The Heavenly Host would have to be.

            Finding the choir did not turn out to be as easy as Miranda thought, however.  She went to a town where the name began with 'B.'  Bombasa was its name. She found some men who looked like shepherds.  They were black.  They seemed to be watching creatures that were more like gazelles than like sheep.

            "Have you seen The Heavenly Host around here?" she asked them.

            "No Heavenly Host around here," they replied.  "Who in the world are you?"

            "Well, I'm not exactly in the world," said Miranda, "except for right now.  You see, I'm an angel, and I have a special message for some shepherds."

            "Well, we're shepherds, sort of.  What's the message?"

            Miranda wasn't sure if she should give the message unless Gabriel and the choir were there, too, but what if they had gotten lost?  Without the message, Christmas would never come.  So she decided to go ahead and give it.  After all, she knew Gabriel's part and the choir's words, too.

            She recited all of it to the black shepherds, about not being afraid and about glory to God and peace among people and the baby.  When she was done, they applauded politely, but they looked a bit skeptical.

            "Where is this baby, anyway?," they asked.

            "Isn't this the town that begins with a 'B'?," asked Miranda.

            "Yes," they told her.  "That's Bombasa there."

            "Well, then," she said, "You just go in there and find a new-born baby that's born in a manger, and you'll have the right one."

            Miranda left them and flew around the world a little more to see if she could find Gabriel and the other angels.  She did not find The Heavenly Host, but she did find more towns that had names beginning with 'B.'  Miranda became confused.  What if Bombasa were not the right one after all?  So she stopped at every 'B' town on earth. 

            At Bahrain she found Arab shepherds in long flowing robes.  At Bavariaburg she gave the message to white shepherds dressed

in wolf skins.  At Beijung she talked to yellow shepherds.  In Bali-Bali she sang to brown shepherds who wore grass skirts.  At Bama-tuma she proclaimed the message to red shepherds, who watched over great herds of sheep that looked just like buffalo.  Oh, there were many more 'B' towns, and Miranda went to every one of them.  Wherever she went, she sent the shepherds into the nearby village to look for the newborn babies, telling them, "There you'll find God's Christmas present to you."

            Finally dawn was beginning to break, and Miranda was exhausted.  She had flown and proclaimed and praised God and given directions all night.  She could hardly move, but she caught onto the tail of a high wind that was going her way and just let it pull her back home.

            When she got to heaven, a big party was going on.  Gabriel and the choir were singing heavenly songs, and every angel in the place was dancing around just having a great time.

            "Well," thought Miranda, "they must have heard about the way I saved the day for them.  It's a good thing I got there to earth, since they obviously lost the way and didn't get the message proclaimed."

            When Miranda walked into the party, Gabriel suddenly stopped the singing and stared at her.

            "Where in the world have you been?" he asked.  "It came time for Christmas, and you were out of place, so we had to go on without you."

            "Oh, don't worry," replied Miranda, with a wave of her wrist.  "I went to earth and found out you missed the 'B' town, so I did it for you."

            "You did what?" asked the entire Host of Heaven together.

            "I went to the 'B' town and told them about peace on earth and God's present to them."

            Miranda was beginning to feel a little uneasy.  She did not know if she should tell them she had gone to all the 'B' towns.

            "You did what?," cried Gabriel.  "You weren't there.  We went to Bethlehem and proclaimed the message, like we were supposed to.  We didn't see you."

            Bethlehem!  That was the name of the place.  Oh, oh!  Poor Miranda...  out of place again...  It was the one 'B' town she had missed.

            "Uh, I'm pretty tired," said Miranda.  "I think I'll just go take a nap..."

            "Wait a minute," cried Gabriel.  "What 'B' town did you go to?"          "Well, actually all of them," admitted Miranda. "Except for Bethlehem..."

            Gabriel and the rest of the angels just stared at her.  They could not believe it.  How could she, when God's gift to the world had been so carefully planned?  This one little angel had messed up everything, by being out of place, as usual!

            Miranda began to cry.  She knew what they were thinking, and they were right.  She wasn't a good angel.  She was always out of place, and now she had done everything wrong and ruined God's surprise.  She took off her halo and started to trudge off to the farthest star in all the universe.  "At least I can't do any more damage way out there," she thought.

            Then a voice echoed through the heavens.  It was very loud, but very soft.  It was very deep, but very high.  It was very strong, but very gentle.  It was the voice of God.

            "Where are you going, little Miranda?," asked the divine voice.

            "I'm going where I won't be out of place anymore," sniffed Miranda.  "I ruined your whole plan for earth and Christmas because I went to all the wrong places.  I'm sorry."

            "Oh, ho, ho," laughed God.  "Miranda, by getting out of place, you did everything right.  You're about thirty earth years too soon, maybe, but that's all right.  My gift is for all the people on earth, everywhere."

            "But I sent them to all those babies," sobbed Miranda.  "They'll think every one of them is your special Christmas gift.  How will they know the true one?"

            "Every one of those babies is my special Christmas gift," said the voice of God.  "There is no baby that is out of place, Miranda.  Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in my sight.  You proclaimed the message everywhere, Miranda, so maybe you did it better even than Gabriel and the choir.  Perhaps I should make you Director of The Heavenly Host."

            "Oh, no," cried Miranda, running to Gabriel and linking his big arm with her little one through her halo.  "That's Gabriel's job.  If I did that, then there would be no one to do my job."

            "Uh, I hate to mention this, Miranda," came the voice of God, "but just what is your job, anyway?"

            "Why, being out of place, of course," smiled Miranda.

            God and all the hosts of heaven laughed for eons and eons.