Remembering Perry

CHRIST IN WINTER: Reflections on Faith from a place of winter For the Years of Winter…


“I hate the Confederacy,” said my friend, Perry H. Biddle, Jr. [1]

“Isn’t that a bit harsh for a southern boy?” I asked him.

“It’s not about North and South,” said Perry. “It’s about life and death. I tried to commit suicide by crashing my car into the Confederate statue in Louisville. I don’t want to blame myself, so I’m going to blame the Confederacy and the people who put that durn statue there.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I already knew Perry was in the hospital because he had tried to commit suicide. Now we could go ahead and talk about it.

“When the paramedics pulled me out, they were sure I was dead. Weren’t even going to take me to the hospital. Then somebody noticed a breath or something…”

“Other than being so bad-looking they thought you were dead, how did you feel about that?” [2]

“Oh, just so glad to be alive.”

We went on that day to talk about life and death. It was never hard to talk to Perry about anything, ever since we were accidental roommates at an Academy of Parish Clergy (APC) conference in Chicago. He made it easy to talk about his attempted suicide, his wonderment at how he had ever gotten to that point, his disgust with himself that he had always been so willing to listen to others as a pastor but had not been willing to seek out someone when he needed to talk about his depression, his appreciation for the care of his wife, Sue, and the concern of his friends, and how strange it is to be so depressed you want to end your life, and then to be so glad when you failed. It was a telephone conversation, but he asked me to pray with him at the end. He laughed when I thanked God for “these faithful old wives of ours who love us regardless.”

Suicide became a major focus of his ministry. Writing had always been a part of his ministry, so he wrote a book about it, “Reflections on Suicide,” and he wrote “Humor and Healing.”

Preacher types will recognize Perry’s name because he talked to all of us through his many writings for clergy, especially the Abingdon funeral and wedding manuals. Hightstown, NJ Presbyterian pastor and fellow APC member Suzanne Schaefer-Coates remembers following Perry’s funeral manual to get through her first such experience, having no idea she would one day be a colleague of the author. Perry was a Contributing Editor to “Christian Ministry” and wrote for many other periodicals. He and I were writing buddies, keeping up with each other’s work. I appreciated his encouragement.

We continued to talk over the years, on the phone, at APC gatherings, when we stayed overnight with Perry and Sue in Nashville on our way to Alabama to see our new granddaughter, when they would come to Illinois to see their son and his family. We always talked about our writing projects, and gave thanks that our wives were still willing to put up with us.

Perry’s whole ministry has been about life and death, helping people deal with those twin mysteries through Word and words. At the Confederate statue in Louisville he went through death to life. Now he’s going through death to life again. He has been “transferred from the church militant to the church triumphant.” The church triumphant is today a better church, and the church militant has lost a faithful frontline warrior.

I do wonder a little about what will happen in heaven if he runs into those folks who put up that durn statue.

JRMcF


[1] There are four Perry H. Biddles in the line, including Perry’s son and grandson, “Petey,” who tried to steal a little red rocking chair from our house when he was about two.

[2] A man expresses affection and gives support to a friend by telling him how ugly he is, under any circumstances.

[3] “Reflections on Suicide” used to be free from Desert Ministries and may still be. Their web site is at http://www.desmin.org/index.html


{I also write the fictional “Periwinkle Chronicles” blog. One needs a rather strange sense of humor to enjoy it, but occasionally it is slightly funny. It is at http://periwinklechronicles.blogspot.com/}

(If you would prefer to receive either “Christ In Winter” or “Periwinkle Chronicles” via email, just let me know at jmcfarland1721@charter.net, and I’ll put you on the email list.)