ODDS & ENDS XIII: Snacks Unaware, Editors Amok [Su, 11-14-21]

CHRIST IN WINTER: Reflections on Faith & Life for the Years of Winter

BUT I WANT TO LOSE MY MEMORY!

Halford Luccock was a professor of homiletics at Yale Divinity School. I so much enjoyed his wry columns in “The Christian Century,” under the pseudonym of Simeon Stylites, that I seriously considered going to Yale for seminary. Unfortunately, for me and all who appreciated his writing, he died just as I was getting ready to graduate college.

The original holder of the Simeon Stylities name lived in the 400s, 37 of them on a tiny platform on top of a pillar. It was the kind of thing you did back then if you wanted folks to think you were a saint. I guess you couldn’t get into much trouble just living on top of a pillar.  I think Luccock took the name for his humor column because of its total irrelevancy.

The column that I remember best was entitled “Macaroons Unaware.” It seems that he loved macaroons, but had a bad memory. So he hid macaroons all over his study—in a book, behind a photo, inside a vase, etc. Then, from time to time, as he was looking for something else, he would come across a macaroon unaware, and be delighted by the surprise. That always fascinated me. I thought it would be wonderful to find snacks unaware. I could hardly wait until I got old enough to forget stuff.

Not macaroons, but the other things I crave, like carrot sticks and cottage cheese. Certainly not chocolate chip cookies or Snickers bars. [Just in case Dr. V is reading this.] Wouldn’t it be neat to come across a Hershey’s Kiss unaware?

Finally, last year, I was at the point, I was sure, where I could start forgetting where I hid the peanuts. I mean, I’m really old, older than 2/3 of the folks in the obits list in the paper, so it should have worked, right?

Not right. Turns out that the ONE thing I can remember is where I hid the treats, so they are always gone before they can get to the “unaware” stage. I may be the only old man in Christendom who is disappointed that he is not losing his memory. 

EDITORS RUN AMOK

            Suddenly I am getting dialog boxes on my MSW documents that say: “Someone else is editing this document also. Do you want to merge their work with yours?”

This is getting out of hand, people. If someone else is working on these columns, why aren’t they any better?

Reminds me of friend Kathy, who was in the middle of a dream when the dream editor came and told her she was dreaming wrong and would have to start over.

In my own editor dream, every draft, she tells me it has to be shorter. I finally get the whole manuscript down to one word. She says, “Can’t you find a shorter word?” 

John Robert McFarland

BONUS THOUGHT: “We are here for a single purpose: to grow in wisdom and learn to love better. We can do this through losing as well as through winning, by having and by not having, by succeeding and by failing. All we need to do is to show up openhearted for class.” Rachel Naomi Remen, p. 80, Kitchen Table Wisdom