THE ALL SOULS FINISHING SCHOOL FOR UNDER-ACHIEVERS [sun, 9-8-24]

BEYOND WINTER: The Irrelevant Musings of an Old Man—THE ALL SOULS FINISHING SCHOOL FOR UNDER-ACHIEVERS [sun, 9-8-24]

 

Today I am the same age my mother was when she died. That’s the start of my “dying envelope.” I assume the end of my dying envelope is seven years from now, the age my father was when he died. [1]

There is no such thing as a dying envelope, of course, but it’s a way to start a conversation about death. Some folks just don’t want to consider it at all, like maybe it won’t happen if we don’t talk about it.

Stephen Colbert of The Late Show on TV has no such qualms. One of the questions he asks celebrity guests is, “What happens when we die?” I’m surprised how many of them don’t know.

It’s not all that hard to figure out, at least for me, since I am a Chrisian, a resurrection believer.

Period # 1: First there is a tidying up period. We all need tidying up, regardless of when we die. I don’t mean that God will send angels to return our overdue library books, or inform the post office of our new address. That’s why we have children. I mean smoothing out the rough edges of our soul.

Principle # 1: We are souls that have bodies, not the other way around. When we get to heaven, we become our real selves.

Period # 2: Then maybe there is a period of seeing old dogs and old friends. I’m not sure about this as a heavenly period. I think it’s probably meant for thinking about while we are still in our earthly bodies. I spend time each day with Wags and Ernie, and Grandma Mac and Uncle Johnny and Jack Newsome… Maybe, though, if we haven’t done enough of that, it’s included after tidying up.

Principle # 2: All these periods may occur at once. Don’t get sidetracked by linear assumptions. We are in heavenly time now.

Period # 3: Then we are assigned to our eternal place. There are billions of planets. Lots of places for God to put people. I’ve always thought that underachievers—like preachers who told people they should believe stuff that they themselves didn’t understand—would be sent to Pluto, since it’s an underachiever as a planet.

In our eternal place, we are put with people like ourselves. God uses the same principle as my pastor friend, Roger Rominger: “Put all the malcontents on the same committee and let them drive one another out of the church.” Not exactly the same, but… you get the idea.

What? You don’t want to be forever with people like yourself? Then you’d better change your ways.

Principle # 3: Eternal doesn’t mean forever. It means complete. [2]

Period # 4: We are reassigned if it turns out we were put in the wrong eternal place. What? You think there are no mistakes in heaven? [3] If there is no forgiveness, then what’s a heaven for?

Principle # 4: Our souls are finished, completed, whole. Not forever, for time has no meaning. Just complete. So, now they are ready just to fall back into the everlasting arms, be at rest, be part of God’s eternal love.

John Robert McFarland

1] In rocket launches, there is an envelope of acceptability for launching. You have to go within the period of when the launch will work. Weather conditions mostly determine the envelope. If you are “pushing the envelope,” you are getting close to the end of the period when a successful launch is possible.

2] Reminds me of one of my early sermon illustrations, when I was myself an unmarried, but hopeful young man. I don’t think I would dare use it now, but “then” was a different time, and I think the “point” is still valid:

The young couple was engaged. She invited him over to sample her cooking. It was execrable. But afterward, she sat on his lap and said, “Just think. When we’re married, we can eat like this forever.” He thought, “Oh…I don’t think I can take forever…” 

3] For instance, the lawyer who died and went to heaven and complained to St. Peter, “I’m only 35. Why did you take me so soon?” St. Pete said, “Oh, we looked at your billable hours and thought you were 90.”