REFLECTIONS ON FAITH AND
LIFE FOR THE YEARS OF WINTER…
I had the shingles shot a
few years ago. I thought that meant I was free from the possibility of
shingles. Not so. My brother said, “We’ve got to put new shingles on Mother’s
and Dad’s roof,” and so we did in the hot and humid… Oh, wait. That did happen,
but that is not the kind of shingles the shot is supposed to save me from.
Getting up on a high, steep roof myself, though, and doing it myself, rather
than waiting for a roofer, that fits in with my action bias.
The shot I’m talking about
is not roof shingles but that red painful rash that usually gets on your face
and other places you don’t want it. The shot only reduces the possibility of
getting shingles, and makes the shingles less painful if you do get it. Doesn’t
eliminate shingles entirely. Even after the shot, if your immune system gets
suppressed, through age or stress, you can get shingles. I’ve had some stress,
and I’ve got some age on me. So I got shingles.
When I took the last pill
to eradicate my shingles, I started feeling uneasy. I felt the same uneasiness
when my 13 months of chemotherapy were over. The chemo was miserable and
painful. I was in distress all the time. But I was doing something about
the cancer. Going from doing to waiting, waiting to see if the chemo worked, was
very uncomfortable. It’s because of what psychologists call my “action bias.”
I always opt for doing
over not doing. I am biased in favor of action over inaction. It is easier for
me to do rather that not-do. In health, it is easier for me to take a walk than
to refuse a cookie. In driving, I’d rather take a short-cut that may well end
up taking longer than wait for the traffic ahead to clear, because then I’m on
the move, I’m doing.
I don’t think an action
bias is necessarily good. Sometimes I have made quick decisions to do something,
so that I could be doing rather than not doing, that have turned out poorly.
But that’s who I am.
Oh, but wait. How often we
have heard, “I’ve got to be me.” It’s never because the person saying it is
explaining good behavior. “Yes, I gave that homeless man my coat, but
I’ve got to be me.” No, it’s always to explain bad behavior. “Yes, I was
rude and insensitive and acted like a jerk, but I’ve got to be me.”
The trick to good living
is not to say, “That’s the way I am,” in order to excuse myself to others. It’s
to understand myself so that I can make adjustments in the way I am, so that
being me—in this case, my action bias—hurts neither me nor others. Insight is
an action, too.
No, I don’t have to be me,
and you don’t have to be you. We are the way we are, yes, but part of the way
we are is a God-given ability to be aware of ourselves so that we can make
allowances that help us be balanced instead of slanted.
Now, even though it’s hard,
I’m going to stop this writing action…
JRMcF
johnrobertmcfarland@gmail.com
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