Reflections on Faith &
Life for the Years of Winter:
Jim and Jennie Kiefer are
our most regular visitors, at least our most regular from a distance. Like San
Francisco. They show up about once a year. Of course, since Jennie has family
in Terre Haute…
The visit before this last
one, they had their thirtyish daughter, Emily, with them. We all went out to
eat and then retreated to our house for dessert. Emily was overwhelmed. She
loves ice cream, and she had never seen an assortment like the one in our extra
freezer, the one for the ice cream.
This visit, Jennie told us,
“Every once in a while, Emily goes around the house shaking her head and
saying, ‘Helen’s McFarland’s ice cream!’”
Helen is a grandma. She
knows what young adults need—a chance to recapture the sense of childhood
wonder that the world tries to steamroll out of us. That’s what grandmas are
for.
[Below, Mike and Yancy and
Kate and Clara are not their real names.]
When Mike told his mother
that he was gay, she could not deal with it. But his grandma did. She never
wavered in support of her grandson. That’s what grandmas are for. When Mike had
children, he knew they had to have a grandma, and even though his mother was
not willing, he knew his grandma was. He used to sneak them into the small town
where his mother and grandmother lived so his sons could see their
great-grandma. That’s what grandmas are for, to provide a sneaky place.
[It took a while, but
Mike’s mother got over it. They are now great friends.]
When Yancy got divorced,
he was confused. He went back to Mississippi to visit “Mammie.” He knew a talk
with her would get him back onto track. That’s what grandmas are for, to be an
anchor in the storm.
Kate is more like Memaw on
“Young Sheldon” than like the traditional milk and cookies grandma. She is an
excellent grandma, though, and recently while staying with Clara when her
parents had to be away for a couple of days, Kate told Clara that she would
make her cookies and provide milk with them. Clara looked astonished. “Don’t
you want milk and cookies?” Kathy asked. “Oh, yes, but it just seems so
unlikely,” Clara replied. That’s what grandmas are for—to astonish.
When Reds 3rd
baseman Eugenio [pronounced A-You-HAY-Knee-Oh, but his nickname on the team is
Geno] Suarez got injured early this season, they called up Alex Blandino from
the minor leagues to replace him. He had a slow start but began to hit as he
got more major league experience. Although a slightly-build middle-infielder
type, he even hit a home run. The ball was caught in the stands by a young man
who returned it to Alex. After all, the ball of your first home run is quite
special. He was asked what he would do with it. “Give it to my grandma,” he
said. “She’s always been my biggest fan.” That’s what grandmas are for—to
support.
Old people need to clear
stuff out and get rid of it. We have been going though old greeting cards—60
years worth of anniversary and birthday and Mothers Day and Fathers Day and…
you-name-it cards. It’s time to look at them one more time and then put them in
the recycling bin. I did that, with all of them, except for the ones from
Grandma. I need to hang onto them a little longer. That’s what grandmas are
for.
John Robert McFarland
BONUS QUOTE: “God becomes
the most present when we become the most human.” Henri Nouwen
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