SUPER AGERS [T, 6-22-21]

 CHRIST IN WINTER: Reflections on Faith & Life for the Years of Winter

SUPER AGERS                      [T, 6-22-21]

 

Helen and I watched a program on PBS about how to age. In it they talked about the difference between just aging and being “super-agers.” I don’t mean to brag, but we are definitely super-agers!

Of course, the bar for super aging is pretty low. Apparently, you just have to be over 80 and be able to find your way home. And not spend too much time wondering about the here-after.

This was hilarious the first time I heard it, and still is, the guy who said, “Now that I’m getting older, I spend a lot of time wondering about the here-after. I walk into a room and wonder what I’m here after.” I can’t remember where or when I first heard it, of course.

Helen and I already do, just sort of as a part of life, all the stuff to be super agers, [except for knowing when to put a hyphen between super and aging, so I just do it whenever I’m in a hyphenating-mood.] To be a super ager, you should exercise, and think good thoughts, eat right, hang around with interesting people, and learn a foreign language.

Why in the world is it always “learn a foreign language?” when they want you to keep your brain active? How often is that necessary? Yes, if you’re younger, and raising children, it can be useful. I recall the story of the mother mouse and her mouselings who were being chased by a cat. Suddenly she turned and faced the cat and said, “Woof! Woof!” The cat turned tail and ran around. “That,” said the mother mouse to her children, “is why you should learn a foreign language.” Yes, that’s the reason, for survival, not because you need it to be a super-ager.

I already speak several foreign languages: Hoosier, Academician-Obscurantist, Farmeristic, Ecclesialism, Babygiggle, Baseballargot, Icanremeberwhenism. Learning a new one would surely be overkill…maybe literally.

So what does it really take to be a super-ager rather than just a plain old ager? It’s the same question with models. Why are some models called super-models? Because they don’t fall off the runway? Apparently, to be a super model, you just put on some new clothes and walk around without falling down. Even I can do that, except for the new clothes part. I’ve got so many clothes already I can’t possibly use them up before I die, so my new clothes days are over. And the falling down part. But I don’t do it unless Jack parked too far away.

That was what the old lady said when I found her lying on the sidewalk outside Jack and Nina’s condo. She explained, “It’s Jack’s fault. I started to lose my balance, and I reached out to steady myself on the fender of Jack’s car, but he had parked too far away.”

Now, that kind of thinking is what makes you a super-ager!

John Robert McFarland