MY REAL HEIGHT [R, 1-29-26]

 CHRIST IN WINTER: The Irrelevant Confessions of An Old Man—MY REAL HEIGHT [R, 1-29-26]

 

Indiana winters, especially those in the southern part of the state, aren’t all that bad as a rule. This winter, though…whee! Cold! I mean sub-zero, for weeks at a time. And snow! Measured in feet instead of inches.

The snow and cold are bad enough, but even worse, a bad winter makes you face your lies, because you’re stuck inside, with nobody else to lie to.

So, I have finally faced my long-time lie. I have said, since I was 14, that I am 6 feet and 1 inch tall. I am actually only 6 feet and 5/8 inches tall.

 

When it started, I did not intend to live a lie. I was 14. I was on the basketball team. I measured 6 feet and ½ inch. Coach Alva Cato said, “We’ll list you as 6’1. You’ll get taller.” He was assuming and hoping that I would get a lot taller. Basketball is a tall game, and 14 is rather young to stop growing, especially if you’ve grown 6 inches the year before. It was reasonable to assume that I would grow at least another half inch. I didn’t grow anymore, though. But I did keep saying I was 6’1. Eventually I forgot that I was really much shorter.

 

Six-foot-one people are not better than six-foot people. Indeed, I do not think that taller people are better than shorter people. I’m proud to be a McFarland, and McFarlands, at least our branch of the clan, are not tall. My father was the tallest of 7 children. He was 5’7. [Or was he?] My late brother and I were the tallest in later generations, because of my mother’s genes. Jim was 6’3. [Or was he?]

Our culture does think of taller as better, though. Surveys show it. It’s not just a practical matter, being able to reach higher shelves or see over others at a parade. Taller people receive more promotions, make higher salaries, get more dates, receive more votes.

On the popular Big Bang Theory sitcom, height is a major concern. Characters are often put down and ridiculed for being short. Sheldon Cooper is the tallest of the characters, and the others sometimes refer to him in tall terms—giant, big bird, etc. Jim Parsons, who plays Sheldon Cooper, is actually only 6 feet and 1 inch [or is he?] but looks gigantic by comparison to the other actors.

My friend, Dave Shogren, told a story about Ole and Lena, who lived in southern MN. The surveyors told Ole, “We’re sorry, but there was a mapping mistake. Your farm is actually in Iowa.” Ole replied, “Thank goodness. Just this morning I was telling Lena I didn’t think I could take another Minnesota winter.”

When we lived in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, I hoped for a surveying mistake that showed Iron Mountain was actually in WI, on the other side of the Menominee River, because I didn’t think I could take another winter in the Upper Peninsula.

The point, though, is that I’m still the same person, regardless of my height. And regardless of my lies.

We lie for one of two reasons, either to get out of trouble, or to make ourselves look better than we really are.

Old people need to make peace with our real selves. We have to accept who we really are. We can’t lie about it any longer.

Okay, then. I lied up above. I’m not really 6 and 5/8, either. I’ve been getting shorter. That’s what a lot of bad winters do to you. Now I’m only 6 feet and 2/8 inch. I’m breaking myself in slowly to the truth about my real self.

John Robert McFarland