Life Span Explained

This was sent to me by my oldest friend, Mike Dickey. Actually, he’s not my “oldest” friend. I have friends who are older, but I have known him the longest, since we were ten. He lives in AZ and has to carry his passport at all times because he “looks suspicious.” Probably his shoes.

A note of old-person pride: I had to figure out BY MYSELF--because granddaughter Brigid is in Chicago with Aunt Mary Beth seeing “Million Dollar Quartet” and touring The U. of Chicago and other fun stuff, her 8th grade graduation gift—how to convert an email into a Microsoft Word document so I could convert it to Blogger, and I DID it! Now if I’m ever stuck in Bombay I can get a tech support job.

This forward from Mike is not strictly “religious,”… well, yes it is, because it explains how God does things, and it summarizes people in their winter years so well.

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do
tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life
span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time
to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under
the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this,
I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty
years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the
ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark
at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as
a public service.